How to Really Inspire

Mama's shouldn't just sit on the shore lines.

I sat there in a cheap lawn chair - watching my oldest two tinker with gulf water.

My shoes on and laced tight - they weren't coming off. I made a proclamation years ago - that I would never let the souls of my feet step on ground I couldn't see....like at the beach. Because you never know when you will step on a jellyfish or a crab or a broken piece of glass or something.

Better safe than sorry.

But slothing there on the warm shore - watching my kids really live -  my husband walks up all barefoot and sandy and says, "Come on, babe. Take your shoes off."

And right about that time - I look up and see my oldest inching closer and closer to bigger waters - and farther and farther away from me. One of us is about to have a thrill - and it's probably not gonna be the one all safe in her cheap lawn chair...

So before I even knew what I was doing - I unraveled the laces and slipped off the socks. I rolled up my jeans mid-shin and I left the chair and headed toward the water - where my children had been playing silly and laughing happy all afternoon.

And this is huge. Normal and expected for most beach-goers, but new and brave for me.

After daring to step on unseen ground - and splashing in washed up water (and loving it!)....and basking in fresh sun...the Spirit spoke clear. (Because He tends to do so when we choose to step out into the uncharted. He tends to speak loud when we step in places we can't see - simply because we hear Him calling. God's presence seems to be thickest when we push past what's known, what's calculated, what's safe.)

Abandoned chairs and left-behind-sand-buckets and and swept-out-to-sea-sand-shovels are a good, beautiful thing. It means their owners decided to dive in - no longer content to just see the waves - but needing to feel them. It's all in the experience.

And do we have any idea what kind of an impact this has on our offspring? Do we have any idea the damage done and the limits drawn when we don't cannon-ball right in?

Our kids will go so much farther in life - when we are out there with them. Making a splash in the world does much more for our kids than clapping does. When you're sitting on the sidelines just yelling for them to go out and make big waves....there's really not much power in that. Children need to see their elders contributing, risking - to know how to do it themselves.

Mama's (and grandmama's and aunts and cousins and friends) should not just follow the babes around - making them the center of the universe. Mama's (and grandmama's and aunts and cousins and friends) should get out there and really live this wild journey. Because when kids see us serving and loving and focusing and disciplining and sacrificing and doing - they see a life lived out well....and they'll want to join you. And they'll want to surpass you. And this is good. It's what we should want.

All too often our children beg us to get up and join them - instead of us getting up, rising up, showing up - encouraging them to join us. And this is a travesty.

So let's start today.

There are great big seas to see. And great big waves to ride. And lots of children to inspire - three of them live right here under my wing. But am I flying them anywhere?

I must remember - while it might not be 100% safe - while it might make me weary tired at times....while it might mean that little bits of the beach will end up in every corner of my mini man - while it might mean that my clothes are gonna get wet....at least my soul won't run dry.

And neither will theirs.

Sunday

I'm sitting here listening to the whir of a ceiling fan thinking back on Sunday, and wondering what tidbits would be good to share here.

I think I'll start with cinnamon toast....

With the one hour time difference added to the time change - my children now think they should spring from their beds well before the sun breaks through....so we got up pre-dawn, put some tea on, and made breakfast.

While I'm not usually a big fan of fatty cooking - I bent the rules a bit and made real cinnamon toast. I did, however, use less butter than the recipe calls for - just to make myself (and my arteries) feel better. It was devoured in a matter of minutes. Anytime you combine things like cinnamon and nutmeg and butter and vanilla and then smear it across a loaf of something only to bake and broil it in an oven....it's probably going to taste good. And it did.

So, with full bellies we ventured off to church.

And church was nice...just about as weird as I thought it would be...but we made it. There were no meltdowns. (There almost was...read on.) The kids had super nice teachers. The sermon pierced me and I'm still reeling over it. (Sermons should tear at us for a while, you know. They should hang around long enough to change us for good.) The people were kind and I only freaked over one thing:

When I looked up on stage and saw six large cups filled with juice - I reasoned that we were taking communion that day. Awesome. But then I also reasoned that there were only six cups....and I got this picture in my head of everyone in my section going up and drinking out of the same one. Oh mercy....this would cause me to have fits. (Hello, germs.) So I leaned over to my husband and said....."There are only big cups of juice....um....that can't mean that we are all..." and before I could even finish he said, "They are for dipping.....not drinking".

Oh.

Whew! Meltdown and fit avoided.

Anyhow...

Worshiping with a different body of believers was a smidge awkward....it brought some sadness....it made me want to be at my old church - but all in all we grew as a result. And we will do it over again next Sunday.

Because fellowship and learning and congregating and corporate worship - they are all designed to be a part of the Christian life.

In Ohio and here. Help me with the change, Lord. I need it.

This Sunday

I'm rummaging through boxes and suitcases tonight - looking for clothes that my kids can wear to church tomorrow.

And it feels weird.

Settling into our rent house - over a thousand miles away from the only church my little blondes have ever known....it hits me hard....

I'll walk into a church building tomorrow and I won't know how to sign my kids up for class. I won't know what kid to drop off where. I won't hug hardly any necks and I won't be able to ask about anybody's Mama - because I won't know their Mama. I won't talk to anyone about last week's connect group, I won't speak to anyone about the next women's event, I won't leave my seat to intercede during prayer ministry time, and I won't wave at anyone on my way back out to the van.

And tonight....this makes me sad. A little excited to see what God has planned for us here.....but vulnerable and timid and nervous.....and sad.

However....

(With Jesus there is always a 'however')

....when we bust out of what's known simply because we feel like God told us to.....He shows up in all kinds of crazy ways....

....peace, provision, calm, joy.

And this is what makes it all worth it. He's proven Himself so faithful to meet us out on the limb.

Nothing compares, really.

So tomorrow, I'll slip my Bible into my over-packed book bag, pray over services here and there, dress my kids in wrinkled clothes, drive down some highways with the help of a GPS, walk into a church building with that 'I'm new and completely lost' look, drop my children off with teachers I do not know, listen to a sermon with scriptures read from a different translation, inquire about all kinds of things from service opportunities to first and last names, and then I'll buckle all of my kids back into their seat belts - and we'll talk about what they learned that morning...and what they are going to do with it.

Because yes, He has us here to do...to learn...to experience.... and He will accomplish those things even if I am feeling a tad out of it.

Especially if I'm feeling a tad out of it.

Because getting outside of ourselves is where He really wants us.

And He is giddy about revealing Himself to us there.

Thoughts on James

I got up early and sat down in the corner chair. Dawn was breaking, and proof of it had already started to leak through the hotel curtains.

I sat there - with my ESV draped across my lap - knowing I needed some divine direction that day.

He must have known it too. Because when I landed on James 3 and my eyes scanned verses 13-18 - it was as if the text was in bold italics with a 'Dear Kate' prefacing the passage...

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

I couldn't get past the first verse.

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the     

                                                               meekness of wisdom.....

My husband tossed around in the bed and rolled over to face me...... and as I caught a glimpse of his open eyes, I read it aloud.... and even from a sleepy stupor, it hit him bold, too.

Because of our fresh situation - we had ready ears...and needy hearts. It was as if we had never visited that passage before....and our hearts received it with a nod of agreement and a complete understanding of it's pertinence.....

There we were - in a new city - scouting out our life, really....a rent house, a faith family, doctors, banks. The day before, we had visited a church and the people there welcomed us warm. They hugged our necks and gave us pointers and introduced us to others and invited us into their homes for dinner. These people - they lived these verses....they lived the 'by his good conduct let him show his works in the  meekness of wisdom' thing. Seeing scripture walked out - it teaches and convinces and loves like nothing else. We've got to get this.

And the rest of that passage - all the mentions of jealousy and selfish ambition...does that strike anyone else? It slaps me right across the face and back again.

The passage then goes so far as to say that the fruit of an envious, self-seeking heart.... is disorder and every vile practice. And it also goes on to say that these things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.

That's pretty blatant language, friends. There's no beating around the bush here.

This scripture cuts right through. What's more - is that I felt the Spirit directing these words right at me. This does more than step on my toes...it brings me right straight to my knees.

And it should. I confess it. I've harbored a selfishly ambitious heart - even in ministry. I've exhibited such petty jealousy - even amongst friends. It's there. And if He is addressing it - I better, too.

Purity, peace, gentleness, an openness to reason, mercy, good fruits, impartiality, sincerity and peace will break forth if I do.

A New Journey

I'll miss the Ohio evenings the most.

All cool and still and clear - most evenings here bring in a wave of peace at the end of each day.

There's nothing like it, really - especially where I'm going.....

The blondes and their Daddy and I - we are heading south. A job transfer offer, the Spirit moving, confirmations -  they all put us on course for the Lone Star State.

And this rings in mixed emotions for me....

While born a Texan - Ohio has been a home...a haven of sorts. And it has provided blessing after God-given blessing - my marriage, my three babies, forever frienships, a college degree, a precious body of believers, lots and lots of growth, ministry opportuities, and way too much OSU football memorabilia to count.

And when I think of it all - when I look back on the past decade...I'm down right overwhelmed with gratefulness. It's been good.

But alas, it's time to go.

The 'good-byes' won't be easy. The sweet evenings won't roll in around 7pm anymore. Snow won't need to be brushed from our doorstep this winter. No more familiar necks to hug on Sundays. Many coffee date friendships will have to rely on social networking. No more hills to admire or Ohio Centennial barns to see. And no more Michigan jokes.

But hopefully the 'hellos' and 'nice-to-meet-yous' will be warm and meaningful. Hopefully, the humidity won't totally curlify my thick hair. Snow may not fall - but hurricanes might...making the day of my weather-loving six year old. A new faith family will make it's way into our hearts, and I hope to serve with them in love and Jesus-like compassion. While I converse with Ohio friends via Facebook - I trust that real face-to-face friendships will rise up, in time. With no hills to dodge - the flat Texas plains sure do make for a great big sky to consider. And instead of jokes about 'the team up north' - ridiculous Aggie jokes are sure to ensue.

Yes, the goodbyes may be heart wrenching. But may the hellos be heart healing.

Farewell, Ohio. Nice to see you again, Texas.

Let the crazy journey begin.

An Overdue Update

A quiet little hollow.

That's what this space has been for the last few weeks.

It wasn't intentional. No blog-fasting or anything - life has simply been in full swing.

I've written many-a-blog-post in my head over the last month.... it's just that none of them made it down to my fingertips and onto the internet.

Much has happened since I last punched anything out here. A bit of what's been going on:

* Homeschooling is on a roll, friends. And all of us are surviving. And most of us are thriving. We have studied butterflies in depth. We have filled our nature corner with things like cicada exoskeletons, pretty leaves, a dried up chrysalis, roses, sticks, and insects. We have learned about weather. We are whizzing through math and enjoying phonics. We have read countless books. And the Mama is pleased....tired and a little inadequate feeling....but pleased. We have hiccups every now and then. And meltdowns occur (usually by the Mama) - but we are hanging in. And it's good.

* There is a 'For Sale' sign in our yard. Therefore, all of the cobwebs are cleared from the corners of the house. My porch is swept. New candles litter every table and desk. Closets are clean. Fingerprints have been wiped from windows. A massive yard sale has been accomplished. I sweep every five minutes. And I throw a toddler-style tantrum every time some child (or some husband) leaves something out of place. Things that usually sit on counter tops are now stuffed into odd places as not to be seen by potential home buyers. And I try to keep the house looking like people don't actually live here. Yes, we are moving. Across the country. About 1200 miles away, actually. (More on this to come.)

* I'm thinking that a new blog is on the horizon. I like my little generic blog spot. But I'm thinking He might be urging me to push past the comfortable and safe.  I'm praying about this one. I like simple - so even if I move blog addresses and I actually purchase a template or something - it will remain frill-less. Spirit-inspired words are enough - and that is what I hope to have there.

* I'm parked in Matthew 11. Jesus won't let me leave it. And this is good. I think that sometimes we get all wrapped up in the amount of scripture we cram down our throats - when really, we should be focusing on smaller portions that we can actually digest. We have to chew on things a while sometimes - take small bites and let it really break down so we can taste it. Matthew 11 is my bite for this week. Join me there? All of it - but certainly verses 25-30 are resonating.

With that - I better get back to schooling. We have some math to do, friends. Thanks for sticking with me through the blog drought. Hopefully the dryness is over. I've missed spilling it all out here. 

Back soon. And I mean it.

Blessings to you all.

'Teacha'

Before I went to bed Sunday night, I hung a collared blue shirt and jean shorts on the knob of his closet. And I went to bed struck by the fact that I would wake up with a kindergartener under my roof.

As my oldest got up Monday morning - I reminded him of his chores, reminded him of the schedule we would pursue each school morning. These first few days - none of it has been a bother. Time shall tell if this attitude will remain as school days add up on the calendar.

We'll see if my attitude stays the same as well - because I'm not just the Mama with a kindergartener. I'm also Mama.....the Teacher. Or, 'Teacha' as my 3 year old calls me these days.

Yes, I have curriculum books littered throughout my house, and two school desks sitting downstairs. There is a world map, a handwriting chart, and a 'Keep Calm and Carry On' sign tacked to our basement wall. (That last one is for the Mama.) The Well-Trained Mind is sitting on my dresser in the bedroom, and prayers for patience are continually leaving my lips.

I'm homeschooling.  Help me Lord Jesus.

Never did I ever think that I would do this. Not ever ever ever.

I'm not an academic. I'm not naturally nurturing or patient. I'm not creative or crafty. And I'm super selfish. Not good things to own when you're thinking about homeschooling. I've never felt so inadequate.

But over many months, through many individuals, and through many encounters - God relentlessly prompted me to pursue home education. Right now, anyway.

And here I am - three days in....and I'm shocked over what's already transpired.....

It seems as if feeling inadequate is the way He wants us sometimes.....most times. It seems as if that is when He shows up and powers right through.

Because the last two days - things have changed. The peace that God is pouring out all over me as I teach - it can't be scratched out into spiffy little sentences. And there has been a shift of sorts. Not in the kids - but in their Mama. There's this crazy calm in the very depths of me that can only be given by the One who can peak into those hidden places. Is this....joy? I think so!

There's blessing in obedience, friends. It's not always monetary. It's not always something you can touch with your fingers. It's a feeling, a knowing - that your smack in the middle of His will. And right there....right there in the center of His hand - that is where joy is found.

When we step out on a limb to do the things the Spirit calls us to - when we forge ahead with what He has for us....even in the wake of opposition and ridicule and question - He'll show up as soon as you take your first step.

It's incredible and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

You wouldn't either.

Is He calling you to do something that would require you to go outside of yourself? Take the first step.....

He'll meet you there. And joy will abound.